The Scariest Halloween Ever (Or Most Insane ^^)
by Asagao1
Summary: Really insane fic written on a sugarhigh... I wrote it a year ago and my cousin begged me to post it but I see that someone has already had this idea! (great minds think alike ^^) n e waze, my cousin is begging me to post it anyway so sorry, other person


The Scariest Halloween Ever  
  
(or perhaps only the most insane)  
  
"Burn or blaze! .er. Trick or Treat!" Said Dilly as he rang the doorbell of Old Lady Winchett's house. The door creaked open, sounding like a screaming cat, revealing a short, hunchbacked woman with a Tootsie Roll.  
  
"Here ya go, shonnay! Bah the way, great coshtume thare!" she said through dentures.  
  
"It's not a costume." said Dilandau as he walked down the 13 steps. "Why would I be wearing a straight jacket unless I had to? I can't burn anything. burn. Burn! BURN! MOOEERROO!!!"  
  
§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§-- §--§--§--§--§--§-  
  
"Trick or treat!" said Hitomi sweetly as the door she was standing before swung open. "Oh, Allen! I didn't know you lived here!" she said as the mad scientist with the still perfect long blond hair stepped outside.  
  
"Don't let her see me like this!" he pleaded. "Please, hide me! I can't let her see me like this!"  
  
"Oh, Allen, you look sooooo adorable in that costume!" Millerna squealed from across the street, as she began walking over to the other two. "It really brings out your eyes!"  
  
Allen hid behind Hitomi. "Why me?" he asked.  
  
"Let's go," said Hitomi to the two accompanying her. "I want to get candy! Lots and lots of candy!"  
  
Allen and Millerna backed away slowly.  
  
§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§--§-- §--§--§--§--§--§-  
  
"Let's go, Van-sama! Come on!" said a really excited Merle, just as Van was fitting his sword into his sheath.  
  
"Ok, I'm ready," he said, as Merle squealed and dragged him outside and up the doorsteps of their first house. This time Van and Merle had devised a plan that would get them a lot of candy.  
  
"Trick or treat!" they exclaimed as the person opened the door and handed them each a single piece of candy.  
  
"Only one?" asked Merle, with a hint of disappointment in her voice.  
  
The person shrugged.  
  
"Give us more," said Van, drawing his sword, "or you'll feel my blade."  
  
The person immediately tossed them all the candy he had and left, slamming the door and locking it.  
  
Merle near died of laughter. She stopped abruptly as she saw a mad scientist, Cleopatra, and Hitomi walk down the street. "Hey Van," she said, tapping his shoulder. "Isn't that Allen and Millerna and Hitomi?"  
  
Van looked over his shoulder. "Hey, Merle, that's a pretty sharp eye you've got there!" He then began waving his arms and yelled, "Hitomi! Millerna! Allen! Over here!"  
  
The three heard and headed over.  
  
Hitomi looked at Merle and burst into laughter. "What on Gaia are you dressed as?"  
  
Merle replied with a squeak. "I'm dressed as Dornkirk! Scary, huh?"  
  
Hitomi did her best not to laugh her eyeballs out. "Uh... *chuckle* Merle. *giggle* I hate to break it to you. *laugh* But Dornkirk doesn't have a purple moustache." Hitomi, Van, Millerna, and Allen burst into laughter.  
  
"Well he does now!" protested Merle.  
  
"Hey, Hitomi, where's your costume?" asked Van.  
  
Hitomi pulled out a black cloak from her trick or treat bag. "I'm not wearing it because everyone is scared of me. They take one look at me and they slam their doors without giving me any candy," she complained.  
  
Van opened his mouth to offer to share some of his candy with her, but was interrupted by a vaguely familiar voice across the street screaming.  
  
"IT'S NOT A COSTUME!!!"  
  
"Dilandau?!" asked Millerna. Unfortunately, our favorite pyro heard her and stomped over.  
  
"What are you looking at?" he demanded.  
  
Millerna hesitantly replied, "Well, it's just that. uh. that's an amazing costume there! It's just so. realist, the way it latches up in the back and."  
  
Allen backed away. "You shouldn't have said that."  
  
"IT IS NOT A FRICKIN' COSTUME!!!!!!!!!" screamed Dilandau, as he ripped out of the straight jacket and reached into his trick or treating pillowcase. "MOERU! MOERU! MOERUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He pulled out the dreaded flamethrower. He charged the five people and burnt them to a crisp. Then, laughing maniacally, he burnt everyone else on the street.  
  
And then he burnt the neighborhood. Then he proceeded to fry the whole city.  
  
Reduced-pile-of-Allen blew over to Reduced-pile-of-Merle. "I told you Jack-o-lanterns weren't a good idea," he said. "Poor Dilly, the flaming pumpkins must've gotten to his head." Reduced-pile-of-Merle rolled what pieces of her eyes she had left.  
  
"Darn!" exclaimed Reduced-pile-of-Van. "And I was sure we were gonna get lots of candy this year!"  
  
Reduced-pile-of-Hitomi began reciting Shakespeare. " 'There would have been time for words, tomorrow, tomorrow, and tomorrow, till the last syllable of recorded time. All of our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty' -hem, ashy- 'death. Out, out, brief candle.'" (AN: sorry if I screwed that up - I didn't have a book with me. My cousin was dictating it to me.)  
  
Reduced-pile-of-Millerna quoted funeral stuff. " 'Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.' I guess the 'ashes' part pertains to us."  
  
She was interrupted by Dilly running around, screaming, "NOT A COSTUME! MOERU! BURN JACKET! BURN! MOERU! MWAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And while Dilandau was running, he stepped on everyone and smashed them all flat.  
  
"Argh! Van-sama! Get off me!"  
  
"Allen, why aren't we always this close?"  
  
"Ahhhhhh! No! Get her away from me!"  
  
"Guys, *grunt* get off *grunt* of me!"  
  
And down the road came a street sweeper.  
  
*simultaneous screaming* *whoosh!* *poof*  
  
Buuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnn!!!!!  
  
*splat*  
  
Silence filled the air that Halloween night. (oh, wait! Dead people walk on Halloween night! Yay! I can have some fun with this! Mwahahaha! ~__^)  
  
*everyone's ghost springs up* Millerna-ghost quoted The Mummy. "OooooOooo, Death is only the beginning! OOoooOOOo!"  
  
Allen-ghost rolled his eyes.  
  
"Guys, we only live until midnight! OooooOooo!" said Hitomi-ghost, pointing to her ghastly watch. "That leaves us five minutes!"  
  
"OoooooOooo! Well, what are we supposed to do?" asked Van-ghost.  
  
"OOOooooooOoo, talk, I guess! OoooOoooo!" said Merle-ghost.  
  
"OOOOOOOOOOO! Supernatural flamethrower! OOOOOOOO!"  
  
Everyghost turned to see Dilly-ghost with a ghostly flamethrower. "Moeroooooooooo!" he said, garnetish-bluish-purplish eyes glinting. And he started running towards them. And the clock began striking, Dilandau-ghost saying "Burn!" in time with the chimes.  
  
*bong*  
  
"Burn!"  
  
*bong*  
  
"Burn!"  
  
*bong*  
  
"Burn!"  
  
*bong*  
  
"Burn!"  
  
*bong*  
  
"Burn!"  
  
*bong*  
  
"Burn!"  
  
*bong*  
  
"Burn!"  
  
*bong*  
  
"Burn!"  
  
*bong*  
  
"Burn!"  
  
*bong*  
  
"Burn!"  
  
*bong*  
  
"Burn!"  
  
"OooooooOOOOOoooooo! We're gonna die!!!!!!!!!"  
  
*bong*  
  
*poof*  
  
1 THE END  
  
O_o;;  
  
(wow, that was weird.) 


End file.
